Starving To Feel
by MysteryWriter177
Summary: Ed is hiding between two personality's to try to hide the truth about how miserable he is. Starving himself and cutting himself to remind himself how worthless he is. And no matter how much he wants to die that he still has to keep moving and Al is what keeping him alive. So what will happen when Ed and Al are separated and Ed has to go on a mission posing as a father son duo?
1. Prolouge

Ed's Point Of View:

I stared at myself in the mirror, I grabbed the sharpie out of my back pocket and I used to it to point out all the different parts of me where there was little bits of fat still on my body. I was horrified by the fat that I saw. I heard a knock on my door and I slipped my shirt over my body then looked in the mirror. The tank top that used to fit for me so tight was now extremely loose-fitting and I smiled as I slipped the red jacket over my shoulders.

"Remember Ed, ten more pounds and you won't have to worry about this." I whispered to myself then Al opened the door.

"Hey Brother, sorry for opening the door without me getting permission, I just didn't get a response and I was worried." Al explained, I smiled at him hoping it would take away the horrible feeling I had.

"It's no problem Al, don't worry about it, sorry I was lost in a daydream I didn't even hear you knock." I let the words rolling off my tongue with ease.

"That's alright, don't worry about it. Anyways Colonel Mustang called, he wants you to meet him in his office in twenty minutes." Al commented and I dropped the smile that made me feel so safe. When I was smiling no one would ever think I was sad, but when I drop the smile I'm scared that my secret will get out. It would crush Al into a million pieces and that's why I still pretend that I'm doing fine, that I've already eaten or that I wasn't hungry because now I always am. I mentally slapped myself, this wasn't how Edward acted, Edward was selfless and didn't care what others though.

"Okay, I'll get going." I replied as I put on my shoes then started walking to headquarters, I made sure never to take Al with me because if he had forced me to eat something I could always go here to puke, but since I hadn't eaten anything in a few days that wasn't the plan that was just the usual way things go so Al didn't go with me.

"Come on Ed, you can do this remember your Fullmetal now. If you let your guard slip for even a minute they'll ship you off far away. And that's when your problems mix with Al's you can worry about yourself once Al has his own body. " I whispered as I put a smirk on my face, then walked into headquarters. I kicked down Mustang's door and I looked at him, he looked angry, but it was only on his face for a minute. I knew one of these days he was going to snap at me and cause me to breakdown, but for now he was just happy I had learned not to fight with him about everything.

"Fullmetal, how nice of you to join. I have another mission for you to go on and as much as it pains me to say it but we are going together. We have to chase down a murderer who was killing Alchemist all over the country, you will be my son and I will be posing as your dad. You will have to go to school and follow the rules. You cannot bring Al or talk to him on his mission." Mustang explained and I wanted to cry. He couldn't take Al away from me Al was the only thing that was keeping me from never eating anything again, he's the one who forces me to get up every morning he was my rock and I couldn't lose him.

"Is there any way we can bring Al on the mission?" I asked and Mustang shook his head. I felt all the energy to fake being angry at him, I honestly didn't hate Mustang and all I wanted to do was curl up in Al's armor and fall asleep. I knew that I couldn't fight him and win so with whatever energy I had left in my body I used it to get mad.

"WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO GO ON A MISSION WITH YOU! They could have stuck me with Havoc I defiantly would have preferred that, hell I wouldn't care if they made us a gay couple, but why the hell am I stuck with you?" I screamed.

"I don't like this either Fullmetal. Now go home to pack up your stuff and meet me at the train station in three hours or I will get someone to pick you up. The higher up have ordered us to go right away." Mustang stated and I nodded. I spat out a sarcastic, yes sir, then turned on my heel and started running to the dorm. I opened the door to the dorm and Al's red eyes made contact with my bright gold.

"So what happened?" Al asked and I gave him a hug.

"I'm sorry Al, but you have to stay here for this one. I not even allowed call you, I'm so sorry. But I promise that all I stay out of trouble to the best of my abilities. I want you to promise to stay safe as well." I stated and Al hugged me tightly.

"Mustang is crazy but I understand you have no choice." Al replied, and I nodded.

"I have to go pack if you want we talk a little bit more about all this. If you want to talk to me about this situation we can as I pack." I added on and Al nodded. I walked to my bedroom, then started to pack. Al was standing at the doorway of my room and stared at me.

"I can't believe that Mustang is keeping us away from each other, but I want you to know that I'm still planning to search for leads well you two are gone." Al declared and I smiled at him.

Al's Point Of View:  
I was so worried, I know that I had asked the Colonel not to bring me along so he could try to figure out what's going on with Brother because I knew that Brother would never spill when I was there but I was worried without me there, he is going to do something bad to himself. I don't know that was just the gut feeling that I had. I felt horrible for not telling him, but at the same time I can't focus knowing that there is something wrong with Brother, I couldn't stop thinking about all the things that were going on his head. Thinking that, I'm somehow of a failure as a brother not being able to help him. But at the same time I really need a break from all the worrying so it was nice knowing someone was going to take care of Brother. Once Brother was finishing packing up, we walked to the train station and I bid him farewell, hoping that the Mustang could finally help Brother.


	2. Chapter One

Ed's Point Of View:

I had slept for most of the train ride, but it didn't stop me from having dreams about Al dying well I was gone. It seems like I can't even escape the guilt when I'm sleeping, Mustang was reading some sort of book so I decided I'd pull out my calorie counter to add the apple slices that I ate in front of Mustang just to show him I ate something. I grimaced as I looked at the last time I weighted myself without automail, 84 pounds, which made Winry worry but I was just mad. I need to lose more weight I felt like I was so fat, I was already doing this crazy diet beforehand and without automail before all of this I weighted around 180 pounds, which was the worst that I think I've ever been weight wise which was about two years ago. I don't know how the hell I only manage to lose one hundred pounds in two years. But this year I have planned on losing as much weight as possible. Thinking about it now it might have been the fact I wasn't working out as much in the first year. I closed my notebook, then fell back asleep. I woke up to a light tap on my shoulder and I looked over at Mustang.

"We're here." He stated and I sighed as I stood up grabbing my bag then I walked off the train with Mustang behind me.

"So where are we even staying?" I asked, Mustang looked over at me. We made eye contact and he stared at me for a minute, then I looked away feeling slightly creeped out.

"We are staying in a neighborhood called Red Oak, it a short walk from our house. Do you mind walking or would you like to get a cab?" Mustang answered and my brain flashed back to my notebook page realizing that I need to burn those.

"I'd love to walk. It will help us get a nice feel of the area." I replied. Mustang just nodded and we started walking.

"I wonder will Al be lonely. I hope he goes home and takes a break. Or he might just have to read through the whole library." I chuckled in amusement as I imaged Al reading away at the library. I let my thoughts go off in so many directions it was hard to wrangle them all in when Mustang cleared his throat and we were standing in front of a huge house. Just by looking at it, I could swear it had fourh floors, but it only had three. It was a house made out of bricks with black paneling on the roof that complemented the red of the bricks nicely. Mustang unlocked the door and we walked in the living was breath taking I t was nothing like I had ever seen before but it had something missing. I smiled as I took my shoes off and even though I could I had socks on I could still feel the coldness of the carpet.

"Ed, if you'd like you can go and pick out a room that you like well I make something good for dinner." Mustang stated and I nodded.

"Thanks." I muttered as I picked my bag up and walked upstairs. I found a room that was small but when I opened the secret door in the closet there was a huge room in there. The room was perfect; I knew that Mustang was most likely aware of this room but it could be so helpful. I could put my books, clothes, and the few pictures of Al and I have. Then I could put my scale, notes, charts and posters in that other room. It made me feel pretty happy for years I've hidden all the stuff that I need to keep myself in a box underneath the dorm bed so I was glad that I had a bigger space to with work with. I set up my room, then I set up in the secret room, then walked downstairs into the kitchen to see the Mustang attempting to make some sort of crazy concoctionhat Mustang was most likey aware of this room but it could be so helpful. I snickered at how he was foolishly attempting to make dinner so I came to the conclusion that he eats out a lot.

"Colonel, do you mind if I make dinner?" I asked and Mustang looked at me shocked.

"Really, you can cook? I had no idea you could even reach the stove." Mustang commented and I glared at him. I took a deep breath and made my face go red. Even those I hated that I had managed to create such a mean personality for Fullmetal but in the end, I just didn't want to do the work anymore.

"Who are you calling so short that an ant could eat him for breakfast!" I exclaimed and then I went back to starting making dinner. I learned how to cook once I started my diet, Al used to make things like blueberry pancakes and steak. I learned a ton of healthy recipes that would fill me up little eating little to none, but since I was staying with Roy and he clearly can't cook very well, I would have the portions a little bigger. Once I finished with Dinner, Mustang and I sat down at the table. Mustang ate his food quickly where I just played with it until I had managed to make it look like I ate some. I knew that I would most likely have to eat apple later, just to sell the I'm okay. It was pretty awesome to see Mustang face when I put the food on the table it was so funny. Dinner was a salad, with pasta, it was nothing fancy or even that cool but he seemed pretty awesome. Mustang ate, I managed to con myself into eating a little bit of salad. I cleaned up dinner and put the leftovers in the fridge.

"Thank you so much for making dinner." Mustang stated and I nodded.

"No problem, I'm going to go to sleep have a great rest." I stated.

"Good night and remember tomorrow we are going to the school to get you registered in." Mustang stated, I nodded, then walked to my room. I went to sleep feeling horrible about myself. I woke pretty early so I went for a run, then I went downstairs and made breakfast. I made just enough for him, then decided that I would just lie to him. I took a shower then got ready dressing into something fancier than my regular clothles. Mustang woke up a few hours later.

"Good morning Fullmetal. How did you sleep?" Mustang asked.

"Pretty well. I made made breakfast so whenever you are ready you can just warm them up in the microwave." I answered, and as I started walking upstairs Mustang grabbed my arm.

"How about you stay down here and we can talk well, I eat." Mustang replied and my cheeks flushed but I nodded. I sat down across from him. We made small talk, then we moved on talking about school.

"You don't have to join any clubs or anything, just try to blend in to the best of your abilities." Mustang reminded me and I nodded.

"Okay, thanks." I replied. I didn't want to cause a fuss such early in the morning. We talked until Mustang finished his breakfast, then he got ready and I read in a book until he was ready to go to school. Mustang finished getting ready once I finished my third book. Mustang drove to the school and we met with the principal then we went to the library per my request. I got a few books and then we went back home. Mustang eat leftovers from dinner yesterday and I went straight to my room praying to God that I don't believe in that, Mustang wasn't getting suspicious.

 **Thank you to Red-Hot Habanero, Mel Mad, TashaFirefist, darkraistlyn, and attackoneverything for following and favoring. Thank you also to Attackoneverything and Yuki Mustang for reviewing.**


	3. Chapter Two

We got into the car, The school was about a half an hour away from the house so I decided with my spare time I would take a little nap. I woke up as soon as we made it to the house, I don't know why but ever since Al and I started traveling together I've been able to do that.

"Hey Mustang, do you mind if I take a walk around the neighborhood?" I asked and Mustang nodded. I got out of the car and walked directly to the side walk. I could feel my skin blistering under the suns rays. I didn't mind I could use the tan to make the ghost white color of my skin was suspicious. But, when the wind blew it made me shiver upon contact. It was a nice feeling to have the wind and the sun perfectly balancing each other out. I walked for a pretty long time until I reached the park that I saw on the way here. I watched as the kids ran around chasing each other until all their energy burned out. I know that it may sound weird but, I liked to think about the childhood that Al and I would have if I hadn't messed up. I sighed, not wanting to think about all that at the moment. It got pretty dark after a little while and I could see the stars shining bright in the sky.

"Mustang, going to be worried about." I thought stupidly so I started walking home. I made it home after a few minutes of walking, I made it home to see Mustang sitting on the couch with a grumpy look on his face.

"So, what kept you out so long?" Mustang asked.

"I got lost?" I lied and Mustang laughed.

"Only you would get lost in a small neighborhood." Mustang snickered and I glared at him.

"I'm really sorry." I replied and Mustang smirked.

"Don't worry about, just don't stay out to late." Mustang replied and I smiled. I walked upstairs to my room and fell asleep. I woke up, groaned as I turned off my alarm clock. I I think a shower and quickly got ready for the day, I smiled as I looked at the size of my uniform extra small. It made my heart flutter with the delight once I saw it. I walked downstairs to see Mustang shuffling around in his pajamas.

"Good morning. You are going to be riding the bus, the bus comes in a few minutes. Grab an apple on your way out." Mustang stated and I grabbed an apple. I ran to the bus stop and barely made it to the bus stop in time. I found a spot on the bus that was a one person seat and rode it comfortable to school without getting much attention. I started walking into the school and that's when everyone started staring at me. I flushed but try to pay no attention to it as I made it quickly to my locker that was written on my schedule. I opened the locker putting my bag in and taking out the folder and notebook I knew I was going to need for my next class. I made sure to keep my schedule with me then I walked to my next class. As I was walking to class I bumped into this really tall guy.

"Hey punk watch were you are going." The guy stated then pushed me into he locker. My head became dizzy but I brushed it off, I continued walking to class and when I finally made it I was earlier than anyone else. I sat in the far back not knowing what else to do, in front would make me too obvious sitting in the middle where people would stare at me so the back by the window seems like the best choice. Even though it was the most cliché. After a few seconds kids started piling in one after another some tall some short, I attempted not to make eye contact with any of them, and had fun guessing their life stories by looking at them. I wasn't trying to be judgmentally in anyway but I just like too playing around. Maybe the girl who sat in the front and seen the most cheery was trying to pay off her mother's hospital bills or her brain was wired differently so she was having a hard time in class. The teacher walked in, she had long black hair and dark brown eyes. She was tall and muscular she looked a lot like my teacher back at home but had a lot of distinct facial features that would make you positive that my teacher and her were not the same person.

"Okay, class we have a new student today. Edward Reed. So, Edward welcome to the class my name is Ms. Emily. Try not to make this year horrible for you and me." Ms. Emily stated and I nodded. Lunch rolled around and a group of guys walked up to me.

"So, new boy are you having a good day?" One of the boys stated and I looked up at him.

"Trust me I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to tell you that boys like you skinny frail and weak don't have much like try to keep your worthless face out of mine." The guy added on then walked away leaving me there to finish my homework. Believe it or not I wasn't against it. I liked the little bit of a challenge that the classes gave me. To be honest I knew I could use English practice, so it was nice to get it. I didn't like how was everyone was staring at me, like I didn't belong and I guess I didn't. The rest of the day just consist of the same guys pushing me against a few lockers and getting tripped a few time. Then it was time to get back in the bus, I rode home in complete silence not talking to anyone and no one talking to me.

 **Thank you to Darkraistlyn for reviewing. Don't worry I have taken into consideration the automail which will play a part later in the story. Also thank you to Attackoneverything, cupcake neko and Yukio Mustang for reviewing. Thank you to TheHttydRaven, PointlessKnife, Evansmiles, awesomenartuo, SofiaSapphire, nuyen236 and ramarsden314 for following and favoring.**


	4. Chapter Three

The rest of the week wasn't horrible, a lot of new bruises, and a few too many cuts from tripping. It was now Friday afternoon and I had no idea what I was going to do. I basically read all the books I could read, without making Mustang go back to the library on a Friday night. So to be perfectly honest, I took a nap, I slept most of the night away until Mustang got home.

"Good morning Fullmetal, I hope you had a good day do you want to talk about it?" Mustang asked and I was surprised at how good he was acting.

"Same old, same old I don't have any homework and nothing to do this weekend. How was your day ?" I answered and Mustang chuckled.

"Ugh, it's worse than a day at the office when Havoc hasn't had a cigarette. Most of the males are just complaining about how hard life is at home with their wife is." Mustang responded. I smiled, is more of a pity smile, but nonetheless, I still smiled at him.

"So, I was wondering, do you want to go out to eat?" Mustang asked and I nodded. Usually I would say no but considering my track record with him so far it would be safer to eat with at restaurants and puke it up later so he doesn't worry.

"Of course I'd love to." I faked a cheerful smile as I tried to calm my quivering knees.

Worrying about all the calories that I could intake in one single meal. Mustang said he just wanted to take a little time to relax and him to go out which gave me time to panic, fret and worry. I grabbed this little notebook that I had that I recorded everything in, and I wrote in about how panicked and scared I was. After a little bit of writing Mustang was ready. We got his car and he drove to the restaurant. We got there and got seated in there for a little while deciding what I was going to drink, which I came down to the most logical conclusion. I chose water, we didn't have a lot to talk about. Well, we did it's just both of us didn't know whether it be appropriate or not to become closer. He was my superior even if I didn't want to made it which meant that he held more power than me and if I did something to piss him off I'd regret that decision for a while. Other than Hawkeye he the only that I'm scared of. Our meals came and I managed to keep myself from crying up until that point when all of sudden my knees felt so weak. Even though I was sitting down I felt like collapsing. I ate my food as quickly as I possibly could and the weakness in my legs seemed to get better with every bite I ate. After I finished my meal Mustang looked at my plate, then up at me.

"Wow, you used to be so known for your big stomach now you can barely finish your meal." Mustang commented and I looked at him hoping that the death glare would tell him to shut up.

"Well, I was becoming a little own chubby for my own good." I replied. Mustang frowned, but I just ignored it. Mustang paid for the dinner, then we got in the car and he drove home. I went to my room and then I waited for hours until I knew Mustang was asleep. I went into the bathroom and puked everything I could out. Then I went to bed getting the peace I wanted since we went to dinner. I woke up pretty early in the morning, I made breakfast and put a plate and a fork in the sink then went up to my secret base. I hid out in that room for a long time, well at least until Mustang woke up then I would try to go asleep again. After the last time we "hung out" I had a feeling that things were going to be awkward. So I finished a few books, then I went back to bed. I woke up to the loud beeping of the fire alarm to see Havoc smoking a cigarette right underneath the smoke detector.

"Well, I knew you weren't the smartest person, but sheesh Havoc." I stated letting that awful wretched person known as Fullmetal come out. I felt bad for Havoc when I saw this face grow upset pretty quickly.

"What are you even doing here?" I asked and Havoc smiled at me.

"Well, can't your uncle pay a visit to his favorite nephew?" Havoc asked and I nodded.

"I see no reason why he should." I replied and all I hear is Mustang snickering in the background like a little kid. I rolled my eyes then decided to grab a bag of chips, then as I was starting to walk upstairs.

"Hey, why don't you stay down and eat a real breakfast with us?" Havoc asked and I felt like crying. All I really wanted to do was curl up into a little ball and cry. But no I have to sit down and eat with Havoc and Mustang like a family then I'll have to find a safe time to eat dinner. I gulped; but walked over to the kitchen and started cooking.

"Woah are you going to make breakfast? I can't image the brave, fearless Fullmetal Alchemist making breakfast." Havoc chuckled.

"Yeah, he definitely a life saver. I can't cook to save my life, but Fullmetal can whip up almost anything healthy at least. This is the first time I have actually seen him take something unhealthy." Mustang stated and all I could feel was confusion.

"Did Mustang complement me?" I wondered. I wish I had gotten the moment on camera because even though it was a stupid complement from that stupid bastard, but it somehow meant the world to me. After a little bit I managed to finish breakfast, I made sure to make it have even less calories in it since I was eating it. We all sat down at the table, Havoc basically walked me eat like a complete weirdo, I ate super small bites and chewed my food twenty times before I finally swallowed. After a few bites of eggs my stomach was full and I felt like I was going to explode.

"I'm full." I mumbled and Havoc looked at me with concern shining in his eyes. However Mustang just sat there eating like nothing was the matter. I put my food in a little baggy then put it in the fridge, I was pretty sure Mustang had gotten used to this routine and thought nothing of it. Not like he really cared that much about me anyways.

"I'm going on a walk." I muttered since I was already dressed, deciding that going on a walk and finding a bathroom would be the best idea to get rid all of those awful calories. I made it out the door, then I started running as fast as I could. After a mile or so my head was so dizzy I couldn't run anymore. That's when my body finally had it and I passed out.

 **Hey guys late upload I know I plan on trying to upload a chapter per week, so sorry. Thank you a million Attackoneverything and darkraistlyn and yes they are two separate groups of humans.**


	5. Chapter Four

Edward's Point Of View:

I woke up in a darkly lit room. I sat up and looked around to see a older man sleeping. My head felt like it was on fire and the world was spinning. Even though all I wanted to do was curl back into ball on the bed, I wrote him a very long thank you note, meaning every word that I wrote. I left ten dollars (because it was the only thing on me) then I started walking out of the house. I made it out to see the sun blaring at me.

"Oh, great. It has most likely probably been a a few hours. I told Mustang that I wouldn't do that again. Shit..." I muttered as I started trying to find my way back. I made it back to the house to see Mustang sitting on the couch just like he was before with a frown on his face.

"We really need to get you a phone." He muttered, then he walked up to his room in some sort of tuff of anger. I felt bad, I really didn't mean to stay out so late but was he worrying about me?

"Chief! So I was wondering where did you learn to cook like that?" Havoc asked and I smiled.

"I read a lot of books, one time I had to decode a cooking book and even though it was in code a lot of the recipes actually worked. But I also read a whole buttload of healthy cooking books. If want when I cook dinner later, I can show you how to make a few things." I answered and Havoc nodded. It was weird usually he doesn't try to get close to me but for some reason now he wanted to. And to be honest, I kind of liked the idea of being friends with people on the team. We talked until I had to start dinner, I learned that Havoc has three sisters and a brother, he doesn't like cheese and that his favorite food was his moms whole made chicken. I taught him one of my favorite recipes then I went to get Mustang.

"Hey Colonel, dinners ready." I stated and Mustang door whipped open. Luckily for me his frown had gone away and his face was back to a emotionless state. We all sat down and ate. My head was pounding and I felt like I was going to be sick. But, I managed to make my stomach take a little more food than I or it wanted. But it managed to pull a stunt like that at school I was going to in the hospital in no time at all. I wasn't in the best mood to go to a hospital, Al would be mortified and I would be screwed over. I went to my room after cleaning up dinner and all of a sudden I heard Mustang and Havoc talking.

"You know that Ed's is a really good person when you get to know him. You only know Fullmetal, just try to get to know him and you might find that things won't be so bad between you too." Havoc suggested and I smiled as I fell asleep. I woke up to a soft shaking.

"Ed, time to get up." Havoc stated and I looked at him.

"What we you still doing here?" I asked and Havoc smiled.

"Well, Mustang wanted someone to try to keep the peace. Plus, every school needs a gym teacher." Havoc stated and I smirked.

"Cool. I'm getting up, so do you mind leaving?" I asked and Havoc scurried out of the room. I stood up and dragged the sharpie on all the spots I saw fat, then I finished getting ready. My head still pounding, I ran downstairs with some time left so I decided to make breakfast for Mustang and Havoc then I started my walk to school. I made it to school right on time to get all my stuff out and to my class on time. I walked over to my locker to see his covered in words.

"Fat, cow, worthless, asshole." Where only a few. I started to shiver as a rush of cold air hit me as I opened my locker, then I got my stuff out. I looked around and no one was anywhere in sight it was definitely weird. I washed the marker off my locker, then dashed to class. I made it to class right as the bell rang, and as I was walking to my desk some tripped me, causing my books to land directly on my desk, talk about luck. I walked over to my desk and smiled as I sat down in my seat. Lunch rolled around pretty quickly, I was surprised at how fast it went and how little bruises I had. That trip from earlier had given me three which was a world record for the least amount before lunch. Which is saying something since I been here a week. I sat down in the back of the lunch room by the nerds, not with them, but close to them, then all of a sudden the group of guys who I have decided to call the Chick Bangers all collectively decided to throw their tray's at me. I was mad, almost fuming at this point, but I managed to calm myself down. I stood up and looked the guy in the front of the pack directly in the eye.

"I hope you had fun wasting your lunch on someone as worthless as me. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to walk away from you guys and clean myself up. Because clearly out of all of us here I am the only one who cares about personal hygiene." I stated as I stood up and walked to my locker. I grabbed my gym uniform, then quickly changed into it and I managed to make my hair somewhat manageable again. I was glad I had gym after lunch, so it doesn't look as weird. I walked out of the stall to see the Chick Bangers there. Let's just say they had an extremely fun time seeing how many punches I could handle until I whimpered. It took about seventeen and three kicks to make me whimper, then they just left me in the bathroom. I whimpered as I stood up, my legs felt weak and for some reason I was shivering uncontrollably. I walked to the gym, my legs still weak, I decided that even though all I wanted to do was curl up in a little ball and sleep. I made it to the gym and did all the stuff I was supposed to for the rest of the hour. The rest of the school day went as well as expected, I still felt sick to my stomach and was so unbearably cold for the rest of the day. I rode the bus home, I managed to not puke all over the person next to me. I walked into our temporary home and to my surprise, I saw Mustang sitting on the couch.

"Welcome home. I hate to shove this on you as soon as you get home, but since we have not leads what so ever yet. I was wondering if you would go to a football game to check out some of the teachers that you haven't been able to meet all of them. Unless you have to managed to meet them all already. Plus some of the parent's kids come to those games so you can check the ones that come out to see if they could be our killer." Mustang told me and I felt like punching him. I just wanted to go to sleep, maybe attempt to feel a little better in the morning, but the universe has different plans for me clearly.

"Fine, just let me get changed it freezing outside." I stated as I went upstairs into my room and started to get changed. I changed into a clearly oversized pair of sweatpants and a sweater. I had shrunk out of my clothes as soon as I dropped twenty pounds. The only problem with that is the fact I have no clothes that fit me properly anymore, I wasn't and still am not willing to get smaller sized clothes. I also put on a pair of fuzzy socks with my tennis shoes. I felt stupid, but it made me warmer than a few minutes before so that's good.

"Okay, I'm done. I've managed to find a outfit that will make me warm enough to survive the harsh weather." I mumbled as I grabbed my bag.

"Here's thirty bunks grab something to eat. I don't want any of it back so keep it. Try to have fun." Mustang stated and threw the money at me, I caught him then flashed him a smile.

"Thanks." I stated as I walked out the door. I walked to the dollar store and grabbed a cute red little fox, a pack of gum, a pack of pens, and a notebook. I put the change and the other stuff in my bag then I walked to the football field. I made just at the knack of time. Most of the game consisted of me taking notes of all the different parents and teachers. I had gathered quite a lot of information on everyone by the time the second half had started. I was about to walk home when the Chick Bangers pinned me up against the wall. I knew I could kill them even if I wanted to but for some reason I just couldn't something inside of me was scared of fighting back against these people, scared that if I did I would be just as bad as them. I let them hit and kick me until my body was covered in bruises then they all ran away like dogs with their tails tucked between their legs. I stood up and turned around to see a kid around my age with a sad look on his face.

"You could look like you are strong enough to kick those idiots ass to next year, but you don't. How about you sit with me at lunch, I see you sitting there alone, so I'll meet up with you." The guy replied and I smiled a him.

"I will." I muttered, then I walked home. I walked home as fast as I could because it was dark out and I was creeped the fuck out. I made it home and threw the notebook at Mustang.

"There is the information that I managed to find out about all the parents and teacher." I stated and Mustang smiled.

"Thanks." He stated and I smiled. Then I walked up to my room and fell asleep.

 **Thank you to Attackoneverything and darkraistlyn for reviewing. Also thank you to Akanime and BlackEyedX for following/favoring. Next chapter I plan on giving Mustang a lot more air time so be prepared!**


	6. Chapter Five

Edward's Point Of View:

My hands were shaking as I walked into the lunchroom. It was the day after the football game and even though I fought against a serial killer, I couldn't shake the nerves of social interaction. I don't know why social interaction with kids my age made me shake, but either way it wasn't an offer I was going to say no too, to be honest I've been feeling quite lonely. Even though I'm living with Havoc and Mustang, I feel as if I am just an extra that they can use to gather information. I sat down in my usual location, then all of a sudden the guy from the football game sat next to me.

"So, what's your name?" The guy asked and I smiled at him. His voice sounded so deep and strong, I couldn't help but feel safe and secure hearing it.

"Edward. What is your name?" I asked.

"Sean." Sean replied and I smiled.

"So, are you always so reckless?" I asked and Sean laughed loudly. His laugh was soft but matched somehow it matched his voice perfectly.

"I've always had more fun playing life on the dangerous side. How about you or are you a bookworm?" Sean asked.

"I have to admit that I'm a bit of both. I tend to play life dangerously well reading a book." Sean laughed at my response and a smile danced him on his face.

"Hey, how about I show this secret room, I found hidden in the school." Sean suggested and I smiled.

"Really? That's awesome. Please led the way." I replied. Sean grabbed my hand and my heart fluttered. Sean led me to the secret room and I gasped when we walked in. The walls were painted crimson and on one of the walls there was an outline of fox made out of black gems. There were painting all over the walls as well and there were even poems taped on the walls as well. There were three couches all different colors, green, black, and light blue, and the floor was covered in grey carpet. I was in awe, how could a room so beautiful be hidden away in the back of the school like this.

"This is amazing. How did you discover this?" I asked.

"Well on the first day of school, I found this room like this minus the painting. Since you're my first friend at this school, I usually camp out here alone. It's great that I finally will have some company. These poems were here when I got here and I don't have the heart to rip them down." Sean stated and I smiled. Sean and I played twenty questions, then he decided that he was going to paint me a picture with the art set that he had in the corner of the room. I didn't mind the silences that engulfed the room once he started painting to be honest it was comfortable. Once the bell rang, Sean gave me a smile that caused my stomach to be consumed with butterflies. Then he ran off to class. The rest of the day went really well, and I decided I would do some snooping around the school. So I called Mustang and told him I had a detention.

Mustang's Point Of View:

Since Fullmetal was seeing if he could find any evidence at the school, I just decided that I would do some research of my own. Basically on my day off I got to go around the neighborhood and get to know the neighbors. Weeding out the ones that I thought were suspicious or not suspicious based on the information I'm able to gather about them. Most of the time I was distracted, I was worried about Fullmetal, he painfully thin. I pretty sure he doesn't notice it but he is constantly biting his nails, to the point where his nail were down to the middle of the tip of the finger. His hair that used to be so thick, is now thin and brittle. And whenever he eats something it so healthy it is insane. So I decided to add the information that gathered on to the chart that Fullmetal gave me on the teachers and parents. I finished right about the time that Fullmetal said he would get home after his "detention". I decided that today was the day I was going to confront Fullmetal on what was going on with him. Fullmetal walked in the door and I was sitting at the couch.

"Hey, how was your day?" I asked and Fullmetal smiled at me.

"There is this really cool, secret room in the school and I also found out that the math teacher goes there a lot after school." Fullmetal stated.

"Oh, that's cool." I replied. I had no idea I was going to start a conversation, Fullmetal and I weren't exactly close, but I still cared about him and I even though he didn't like to show it he cared about me too.

"Fullmetal, there's something that I want to talk to you about something." I stated, and Fullmetal cocked his head to the side.

"What is it?" Fullmetal asked and the smile that danced the on his lips disappeared.

"I was wondering if you were feeling okay? You haven't been eating a lot lately and you are getting pretty thin. I have to admit that I just worried about you." I stated and Fullmetal's face twisted with anger and confusion.

"Oh, I've been feeling a little dizzy lately. But other than that I've been feeling quite well. I've been on a diet for a while now, but I should eat a little more huh? Well, thank you for the concern." Fullmetal replied and I looked at him dumbfounded.

"Just promise me that you'll eat more." I responded and Fullmetal then he ran off into his room with a canvas in his hand that I hadn't noticed before. Well, at least I can sleep a little better knowing he'll eat some more.

 **Oh my gosh, you guys are all so amazing I don't think I've ever had this many reviews on a chapter before. So thank you to Attackoneverything, darkraistlyn, TheHttydRaven, and Akanime for reviewing. Also, thank you to** **Ael** **ita Anastatia Moonshade following this story. I'm planning adding one more chapter this week because I have been in the writing zone lately. So see you all later!**


	7. Author's Note

Hey guys, so as I've been writing up the next chapter I realized that I didn't like where the story was going. So I've decided to delete the last chapter, in the hopes I can get my story back on track. I apologize for the lack of updates. See you all in the next chapter.


	8. Chapter Six

Edward's Point Of View:

It has been a few days since Sean gave me the painting and I was pretty miserable, I've been eating the more at dinner, and puking more as well. Overall I've just been pretty sad I don't know why but, every time I'm supposed to be happier; I've just been miserable. Also random thing I just realized that Havoc hasn't been around much, only really for dinners. It was weird. Only time I've really been happy since I met Sean, is when I am hanging out with him. The upside about this is that Sean and I have managed to get closer. Which was just something that was pretty awesome but, the worse part was the butterflies in my stomach have been getting worse the more that I'd been getting to know him. Today was the last day before the weekend, and I was pretty nervous. Mustang had been picking up on the signs, and I was terrified of him putting the rest of them. The other thing that's been bugging me was that Mustang said he cared about me. It's been bugging me since he said it. I had woken up and finished getting ready a few minutes earlier than I usually do, and now I was sitting on my bed, staring at the knife across from me on my bed. I got up from my bed and hid the knife underneath my pillow. I walked into my I secret room, and found my secret stash of pills. I knew that my body was slowly regaining weight and I needed to stop it, even if it meant in my least favorite way. I grabbed the weight loss pills then ran downstairs. I shoved them into my backpack then started my walk to school. Lunch finally rolled around and I took a pill then went to the secret room. Sean was painting, and I sat down next to him on a pillow.

"Hey Ed, did you eat lunch before you came here?" Sean asked and I nodded. I knew this was a trap, but at the same time I didn't feel like making an excuse.

"I think we should should make a rule. If there is something you don't want to talk about it, I won't talk about it. But my food habits are something that I don't want to talk about." I stated and Sean looked at me.

"That's fine, I know everyone has a skeleton in their closet. So I won't mention it, but if things in that mind of your gets worse you better tell me." Sean stated; I smiled and nodded. I didn't really feel like talking so I just sat there and watched him paint. It was like watching someone's creative spark unfold in front of me, and it was mesmerizing. Lunch unfortunately ended a lot faster than I would've liked and I was forced to go back to class, even though I really didn't want to. The rest of the school went by pretty quickly, it was insane how fast it actually went. When I got home to my surprise I saw Havoc and Mustang sitting on the couch; playing some sort of card game.

"Hey Chief, your back!" Havoc exclaimed and I smiled at him.

"It's more like your back, where have you been?" I asked and Havoc laughed.

"I had to a lot of digging. Now it's a Friday night. How about you come out of that cave that you love, and let's go to the library or something." Havoc stated and I smiled. I didn't know what I wanted to do, on one hand I wanted to disappear into my room but in the end, I decided that going out with Havoc might do me some good.

"As long as you think your up to the challenge of not getting bored at the library? The only person I've seen do that is Al?" I asked. I let my little more of my cocky side come out then I quickly regret it.

"I want to do some reading if my own but I'll try to keep up with you." Havoc responded and I chuckled.

"So then, what are we waiting for?" I asked and Havoc laughed. I put my bag down and put on my coat. I waved goodbye to Mustang as Havoc and I walked out the door. We got to the Library pretty quickly then I quickly dove into the writing section. Ever since I've been hanging out with Sean I've wanted to try to do something creative, so maybe I could try my hand in writing. I did dabble in the art of story telling when I was younger, so if I was going to have any talent, it was going to be in that. After reading a few writing books I decided to give it a try. I mean what did I have to lose.

So I wrote and I wrote until I could feel my hand stating to cramp. I folded up the paper as small as I could so it would fit in my pocket, then I grabbed another book from the shelf. This time I chose one on Dr. Knox' theories. Once I finished that book, Havoc popped out of no where and I almost jumped through the ceiling. I took a deep breath, then looked at him.

"What's up?" I asked and Havoc smiled at me.

"I managed to finish up what I was doing. You ready to go?" Havoc asked and I nodded as I put the finished book back into the shelf. I followed Havoc out of the Library then we went back home. I have to admit I really interested in Dr. Knox theory on actually controlling fire alchemy enough to be able stop it after it was made. I wanted to know more about this theory and I actually wanted to see if the military had done any research on this. I mean I don't have anything else to do. We made it home then, I went up to my room, deciding on trying

some more of that writing thing, it was actually kind of fun. Once I managed to finish my story, I crawled up into a little ball and fell asleep. I woke up to the sun blaring through my window and I suddenly felt a wave of homesickness, flood through me like a tidal wave. Then I did something that I would regret, I cried and I sobbed like a baby. I just wanted to go home to Al, and not deal with a serial killer and some idiotic humans who thinks it's fun to beat up others. I cried for about a good hour, then I wiped my tears the away. I went downstairs to see Havoc and Mustang eating breakfast and I felt myself grow nauseous. I wasn't even close to be in any mood to put up the fake charade so I went downstairs, and sat down on the couch.

"Good morning! Are you hungry?" Havoc cheered happily and I sighed. I was in rush to even look at food so I shook my head. Mustang gave me a look of disapproval but didn't say anything.

"Hey Mustang, when Havoc and I were at the library I saw a book on fire alchemy. It's pretty weird that I saw fire alchemy book at the library? Do you know why it would be there?" I asked and Mustang looked at me like a deer that was about to hit by a car.

"Did you check out the book?" Mustang asked and I shook my head. Mustang stood up from his chair, put his shoes and his coat on then ran out the door. I looked over at Havoc, and he just shrugged I guess not knowing what Mustang was planning to do either.

"I wish I could tell you what going on in that man head. I've been trying to figure out for years." Havoc stated with a laugh.

"I don't think that I really don't want to know." I replied and Havoc laughed even harder. I sighed and got up from my spot and gave Havoc an apologetic smile.

"Well it obvious that he went to the library, so I'm going to go follow him. Making sure that old geezer doesn't end up breaking his neck; tripping on a carpet." I chuckled and then I ran out the door.

 **Thank you to everyone who has been patience with me and this story. Thank you to Bluezoroark, WingedWolf101, and Skye Winchester for following/favoring. Thank you to Darkraistlyn, Fir3danc3r and Attackoneverything for reviewing**


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